Yes, have some

Ewww, you ate cloned meat!  Well, technically the offspring of cloned meat.  It wasn’t even home-grown, it was imported from the US.

Tell me this isn’t a B horror film in the making.

You have bureaucrats, mad science and an unknown amount of product released upon an unsuspecting public.

Picture a smug suit in front of a few cameras announcing “It’s entirely safe for human consumption.”  Meanwhile, an unjustly fired scientist (ain’t she purty?) and a local constable (note the reluctant hero’s dusty charm) try to push past security in order to warn the townspeople.  The Food Standards Agency rep is behind the news podium puking after learning that the sausages at Dolly’s Diner are all made from the tainted product.  A few teens are still missing after going to the beach for a bonfire and some gratuitous boob shots.  The cloned animals all have that crazy look in their eyes.  Cut to some corporate lawyers arguing about legal technicalities and bathing in money.

I told them we hadn’t completed testing yet!  DUN DUN DUN!

I think I’m going to name my first-cloned child Cattle Tracing Scheme.

“Cat, finish up your cloned burger or you don’t get any damn pie.  And stop giving me the evil eye.”


About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator
This entry was posted in Science, Universal Absurdity and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Yes, have some

  1. I wonder if the offspring of cloned meat tastes like despair…

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