I just watched Splice. I’m still watching it actually.
I wish I wasn’t.
The story held such promise. However, as happens, the execution did not rise to the challenge. I’m sure somebody somewhere wrote endless amounts of rapturous prose glorifying this boorish film. Don’t listen to them.
I am not the least bit invested in the characters or what happens to them. These “scientists” are the most moronic characters I’ve seen in a while. There is no character growth and while the understanding of their motivations is present, it is shoved into the back closet as it is cliched and unsubstantial.
Yeah, you can guess at all the deep meaning happening in a movie about douchebag scientists pushing the bounds of, well, everything in their pursuit of pretty much nothing. Selfish, brainless twats hipstering their way through a science fiction story of scientific hubris and the naughtiness of Man. Throw in some totally absurd sexy time and you’ve got yourself Splice.
Now the real question is…how do I get rid of it? Is there an over-the-counter cream I can use?