It’s in the Water

Someone snapped a photo of the Lake Windermere sea serpent, Bow-Nessie.

The photo is the usual blur.  You can clearly tell that there was a body of water, perhaps some islands in the background (or perhaps a ghostly war ship, as I suspect), and a mass in the water apparently leaving a wake.

Best ever photograph?  Maybe.  I won’t say it isn’t, but on the other hand, I have never been a big fan of the trend toward awarding participation trophies.

Kayaker, Mr. Tom Pickles (go ahead, snicker, I won’t think less of you), states that he first thought it was a dog, then that it was three car lengths long, he watched it for 20 seconds, the humps were rippling as it moved and it looked like a giant snake.

Quite a strange list of attributes.

A photo expert notes that the size of the phone picture file makes it hard to determine whether it’s been altered.  When I kayak, my phone is locked in an airtight container, so I probably should just applaud the feller for getting a picture while he was so frightened he was paddling immediately back to shore.

What is a damn good fishing yarn is also a jumbled mess of a witness account.  Dog or city bus-sized aquatic monster?  Is 20 seconds enough time to unearth your phone and snap off a pic while kayaking in a panic back to shore?  Do giant snakes dream of rippling humps?

Says Dr Ian Winfield, a lake ecologist at the University of Lancaster, “we run echo sounding surveys every month and have never found anything.”

It’s interesting to note that the man’s employer, CapGemini, got its name in the New York Times as a result of this.  Right up there in the second paragraph of the Times article.

I’m not sayin’…..just, ya know.

As an aside, I saw something swimming in the Chicago River this morning.

The dog and I were making our way through the tunnel under Bryn Mawr Avenue when I spotted something in the river.   I always look in the water at that location to see if the snapping turtles are building anything with the spare tire.

My first reaction was naturally “A DUCK WITH NO HEAD!”

I then realized that it was not a headless duck, but some kind of mammal’s head.  I couldn’t really identify it.  It was kind of dark.  It had a tail and a head and was the size of an animal.  It also swam in meandering fashion, seemingly unconcerned with my presence.

The beast was correct in its assumption that I would never be able to get near it from my location.  The gallant swimmer also made a solid gamble as to my paparazzi skills at 6am in the rain.

I was too busy craning forward and hoisting myself dangerously over the top of the fence for a better look to bother getting my camera out.  I run with an Olympus 1030SW because it’s smallish, but has heft, is damn near indestructible, and can go 30 feet underwater without pissing itself.  On this occasion, it performed as well as any camera in a pocket ever has.

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About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator improbablefrontiers.com
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