Raccoon City

Yawning Raccoon

Image via Wikipedia

There has been some gnashing of teeth here in Chicago about raccoons.  Apparently they are hanging out down by the docks and harassing boaters.

I mean, who would have guessed?  Masked bandits down by the docks?  No way!

I have noticed fewer coons than usual this year.  Perhaps all my local bandits are moving on up to the East Side (Lake Michigan counts as an East Side, doesn’t it?)

Perhaps they are more of a problem this year, but perhaps they are just harassing the type of people who call up the authorities.  I don’t know.

I found this bit interesting

State law allows trappers multiple options in cases like this — from releasing the animal within 100 yards of where they were caught to turning them over to a veterinarian who is a licensed wildlife rehabilitator to “humane” euthanization, according to IDNR spokesman Tim Schweizer.

100 yards?  Hardly worth having a state law about that.

I’ve got some tips for these boaters.  Stop feeding the animals.  Put your f’n garbage in the bin and lock that down tight.  No, simply letting the lid flop almost closed because it’s too full doesn’t count.  They go where the food is.  If you aren’t a business that sells food, you have no excuse for baiting them.

In other Raccoon City news, they are making another Resident Evil movie.  RE5 is supposed to be out in September.  Sure, they are mindless and stupid, but there are zombies and Mila (she better be in it, or else!), so I have a soft spot.

There are also some rumblings about the RE6 game.

Do you suppose that these young raccoons are being unduly influenced by violent games and movies?

Also, I’m still working on that epic sky battle sketch, don’t you worry!  (By “working on” I mean that I didn’t forget and have a blank piece of paper set up and ready to go)

Raccoons in action:

A swimming pool!  Now that’s movin’ on up.

About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator improbablefrontiers.com
This entry was posted in Universal Absurdity and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Raccoon City

  1. Autumnforest says:

    Raccoons–the eternal love/hate. They’re so fucking cute and then they tear apart your trash cans. I don’t blame them for hanging around the docks, all the free fish you could want.

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