I’m sitting here watching Chiller TV instead of writing. Well, obviously I’m writing, but not writing what I should be writing.
One of those list shows is on. Everyone loves lists. It is Sunday. I feel like Sunday is when I would hear that Casey Kasem cat.
The problem with these lists is that the people making the lists don’t really care. So the lists suck. The Interzone created this really cool thing where each item in a best/worst/whatever list has a picture. And each picture has its own page. Not the whole page, just a small part nested in the middle of some other distracting stuff. But the cool part is that you get to do each item in the list, in order, each with its own page more or less. Not totally in order either. You’ll probably get a free advertisement in the middle or maybe two.
Why are we even talking about this. It’s disturbing.
Back to this show. Horror’s Creepiest Kids.
This should be fun. I like horror and I think kids are vile, creepy jerks.
The show is almost half way through already, but who needs to see the bottom half of the list anyway. You know what they say, second place is just first loser. That makes tenth place the ninth loser. That’s pretty lame.
Whatever point in the list they are, the people on the TV are talking about Let Me In. I think they mentioned that there was another version, but I am not entirely sure. I will not watch this again just to get some facts correct.
Anyway, the people talking about the movie are not people I know. They are not funny or particularly attractive (except Rachel Potter). I am not sure why they are on my TV.
The spoiled cherry on top is the fact that these TV heads have clearly never seen the movie Let Me In. Either that or they were watching a different movie than I was.
The great clip shown here is the pool scene. The kind of scene where somehow a villain manages to remain doing whatever stupid thing they were doing before the hero showed. Completely irrational behavior and crafted purely for cinematic impact.
Well, whatever. We all have our blind spots. Perhaps the discussion of Wednesday Addams will be interesting. I was never an Addams Family fan, but I have seen quite a few of the episodes. That Uncle Fester bothered me.
The discussion is dominated by clips and joyful recollections of the 1991 movie. I’ve got to tell you, a loving remembrance of the 1991 The Addams Family movie is a little sickening to behold.
I can’t believe I’m still watching.
But now they are getting to #3, Orphan. Esther totally counts, all ageist objections aside. Maybe this show isn’t all bust. Maybe numbers 10 through 6 were OK and I just got on the bus in a bad ‘hood.
Numero dos is the kid from Pet Cemetery. Talk about a giant failure. Have these people seen the movie? I have. About 100 times. There are creepy things about this movie. None of them are the kid. The kid is a little off. Let’s just say he makes me laugh.
“I want to play with yoooouuuuu” is not creepy, folks. Pet Cemetery is not a creepy movie. Certainly not if you weren’t ten when you saw it. At the very first showing. Ever.
Bah. I’ve had it. The Creepiest kid title went to Damien Thorn. I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it. That kid is creepy. It helps when you have a good score to back you up. I don’t think these people will add anything to my enjoyment of Damien Thorn.
I am probably risking my sanity watching the end of this show. I certainly don’t think I need to watch the first half of it. I probably will.
Curiosity is a killer. Everyone knows that.
They are starting the decade’s scariest movie moments. I can’t watch this. Chelsea and Liverpool should be playing that other football right quick.
That’ll be another type of horror show entirely, I’m sure.
To quote Esther, “Stop crying. Grab a foot, and help me get her off the road. Now!”
- Chiller 13: Horror’s Creepiest Kids Premieres October 28th (dreadcentral.com)
- ‘Addams Family’ opens in Miami just in time for creepy, crazy fun (pbpulse.com)
- Addams Family fun but forgettable (theglobeandmail.com)