The Doldrums

The Phantom Tollbooth

The Phantom Tollbooth (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I really liked The Phantom Tollbooth when I was a child.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before.  I’ve been thinking of rereading it.  Just for fun.

But that’s not for here, but for over there.

What’s over here are those TV Doldrums.

It can happen at any time really.  Any time you have no specific show to watch and would dearly like something to be on.  Something that you might want to watch.

Right now, Syfy is playing V.  That old miniseries V.  So far as I can tell, they’ve been running it straight through all day.  Probably in relation to some upcoming TV event I’m not aware of.

I hope so anyway.  Otherwise the network is just being mean for mean’s sake.

V is exactly the kind of airing that makes the doldrums what they are.  Somehow, because it was born in the 1980s and stars Marc Singer, we are supposed to show it some love.

I’m not saying I didn’t watch with rapt interest as a child.  That doesn’t mean squat.  There wasn’t a ton to choose from.  When a miniseries came on, you watched it.  It was some kind of national duty.

V stunk.  It is worse on reviewing.  All bazillion hours of it.  Including the alien baby birthing part.

It doesn’t even offer much in the form of unintentional comic genius.  Not even the alien shuttle craft strafing a rebel on horseback with laser beams can brighten up this kind of claptrap.

This is the real doldrums.

What can you do?  San Francisco and the Cincinnati Redlegs are scoreless in the cold.  ESPN is a morass of stupidity and 2-year-old level attention grabbing.

I’m watching Freakylinks.  That’s what.  I seem to have missed this show when it first came out (2001 by IMDB’s count).  It’s entertaining me.   They really should have made more episodes.

I have always liked Ethan Embry.  He’s like your pal’s little brother.  Too goofy to be left alone and annoying as hell, but you can’t help wanting to scruff up his hair and toss him a baseball.

This will have to be my lifeline in these doldrums.  1000 Channels and all is calm.  Nevertheless, we may not have to push the horses overboard after all.

It is at times like these that I forget the myriad online options.  I am flummoxed by the lack of TV options.  I shouldn’t have to go to Netflix or Uverse or Youtube or Yewhatever.  How can all these stations and instant watch options be devoid of desirable content!

The upcoming Freakylinks episode is “Subject: Me and My Shadow”.  A tale of a boy who believes something sinister lives in his shadow.  He’s probably correct.  But I bet nobody believes him!

Who am I kidding.  I’ll probably go outside and bark at people with the dog.  The shadow jerks can come along.  I don’t see much sun.  But they better wipe their damm feet before coming back in here.

Whatever happens, I can assure you none of it will involve watching V.  Even I have to draw a line somewhere.

About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator
This entry was posted in Film, Literature and Entertainment, Personal Commentary and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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