Square Peg, Meet Round Hole…Now Scream

Dark House

Dark House (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I just caught the tail end of a movie called Dark House.  The house appeared, from what I saw, to be quite dark.

I had seen the beginning; a few hours ago now.  It looked to be your typical C horror movie effort.  I flipped it to record and went to feed the menagerie (truly, its own horror-comedy).

Having now seen a bit ‘o what the film got itself up to the last few hours, I’m going to give it a better look (I’ll let you know how that goes).

I do like Jeffrey Combs.  His bit in the Frighteners always gives me a smile.  I also dig Erin Cummings, who I came to know via Spartacus.  She did a lot of work without saying a lot.  What can I say?  I like a grimy chick with a blade.

The takeaway scene at the end of Dark House got me thinkin’.

Yeah, that’s not going to end well.

I was thinking, “Man, that’s a nice looking house.  I like a good turret.”  Naturally, I wondered if I had actually seen a roundish or odd-shaped room during the few minutes of the movie I watched.

I couldn’t recall such a room.  It could have been there.  I was disoriented by all the on-screen screaming and fake blood splatter after all.

Deep down, I don’t need to remember.  I know.  I know how it is.  They never show the round room.  Unless the round room is there solely for some plot purpose, such as the intricate placement of a series of 639 concave mirrors for the purpose of raising the unraisable.  Or at the very least, the undesirable.

We all know that the inside is always bigger than the building façade would have you believe.

Now I’m also convinced that these are all secret turrets.  The high-rising, tubular architectural elements jutting up proudly from all the 100-year-old city houses have no access from the inside.  Not for the likes of us.  The uninitiated.

They aren’t, as you might have suspected, hiding square rooms inside of round walls.  We are not having wicked scenes of childhood trauma flashbacks in these secret rooms; thinking we are in a regular rectangular room while the real cursed curved room surrounds us behind a false flat front!  No, we are actually stuck playing this movie out in the squares, man.

What the hell are they up to in those rounded rooms?  Why won’t they show us?

Is this really a pandemic or am I just crazy?

Don’t answer that.  It’s obvious that the turret rooms are part of the conspiracy.  Your denials serve no purpose.

Other than to expose you.  Not literally.  Ewww…..so gross.

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About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator improbablefrontiers.com
This entry was posted in Film, Literature and Entertainment, Universal Absurdity and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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