If anyone hasn’t noticed. It’s really damm hot here in the Midwest of the US of A.
When your A/C gets fritzy, the electricity is intermittent and your wireless and wired networks go down…then you have to take drastic action.
In my case, this involved driving out into the deep, dark woods and begging my Mummy to let me bask in her A/C and eat all her fruit. I completed this fall from grace by celebrating the 4th in style. Drinking my niece’s Guinness (because she is currently stuck on the USS Wasp) and kicking back in someone else’s luxury.
And then I made my Mummy watch Count Yorga, Vampire.
Everyone should watch some soft-core pornish 1970s horror with their mother. It’s a bonding experience.
Yorga is your traditional vampire flick. It follows the story as laid out by Stoker’s grand pooba of vampire stories. You’ll get the Vampy brides, the disgusting, rotting, lumbering Renfield character, and the Count – complete with the pasty face, red lips, sallow eyes and the greatest looking Count outfit money can buy.
What Yorga brings to the mix is the awesome spectacle of 1970s style and grace, a VW van with the sweetest looking curtains you’ve ever seen, and the happy-go-lucky attitude of some cool cats and their sultry, modern babes. Wouldn’t a séance just be a gas?
Not if it’s being led by the dastardly Count Yorga.
I’ll give the Count one thing, he is far more capable of integrating with humans than his predecessor. It is perhaps this seeming gentleness that makes his true nature all the more disturbing. For when Yorga gets in the swing of things, ain’t nobody gettin’ out alive.
This is a low-budget film. Originally tabbed as a soft-core porn movie, the movie makers instead went straight horror when actor Robert Quarry informed that he would play the titular role if they turned the story into a straight horror film. Not that there is that much difference. I’m guessing Judy Lang (playing Erica) makes other folks feel funny in their private places, too. Can’t say that I blame the Count too much.
This is a dated film. There is no doubt about that. That doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyed for what it is. Yorga manages to create tension and suspense without the best special effects of the day.
It is the pace and matter of fact presentation that lends some of that horror ambience. The scene wherein Yorga’s man, Brudah, assaults Donna is chilling without showing much of anything. In fact, the scene is disturbingly quiet. As is the moment when Brudah tells the Count “the girl….I’m sorry”. Simple. Quiet. Deadly. (Wikipedia notes that as a result of ratings board issues, some few minutes of violent and sexual content were removed and changes to the soundtrack were required to reduce the impact of some violent scenes – perhaps this didn’t achieve exactly what they had intended.)
Don’t you worry. There are plenty of chuckles along the way. Goofy scenes that balance the film out. All part of the fun of 1970s horror.
Take this spectacular scene for instance. Rarely has a young lady munching on her kitten ever seemed so delightful.
Yorga is a monster. A true king of vampires. Though he may have been vanquished, his legacy endures. Especially since Count Yorga makes a return appearance!
Even though I saw it coming, I still loved the end. The film was definitely worth watching. My Mummy gave it a thumb up (just one, she lost the other one in a tragic Chinese finger trap accident).
- Those Swinging’ 70s Vampire Films (weirdmovievillage.wordpress.com)
- Non-Review Review: Dracula (1931) (them0vieblog.com)
- V/H/S Will Restore Your Faith in Horror Films [Video] (gawker.com)
- Bite Into the Eight-Movie Extreme Vampires Set on July 17th (dreadcentral.com)
- Jamie Lee Curtis to Make Her First (and Last) Horror Con Appearance at the November HorrorHound Weekend (dreadcentral.com)