Halloween came again this year. I hate to sound like one of those curmudgeonly old farts, but I swear the kids are getting more impatient and more greedy….and less imaginative.
Maybe it’s a cost cutting thing, but a larger than usual percentage of my treaters this year could hardly be arsed to wear a costume of any sort. Perhaps they were just dressed as street urchins and I couldn’t tell.
I know they are impatient as hell; I’m used to that. The banging on the door when you don’t open it ten seconds after they ring the bell. There is always at least one kid that tries to actually open the door.
This year was no different. However, this year they added a new twist. They started repeatedly banging the metal flap covering the mail slot. Kids will be kids. However, these kids were with adult chaperones. That kind of shit is annoying.
I’ll give props to a few kids, though. One little feller actually busted out the “trick or treat, smell my feet” line. I wasn’t even sure kids knew that turn of phrase any longer. Another kid was dressed as a doorbell with a dome light that, when pushed, rang a doorbell chime.
And then there was the kid dressed in full jester outfit complete with black and white facial makeup. Said not a word to me, handed ME a piece of candy and then, as I pondered what it all meant, blasted me with silly string.
I came super close to bellowing some naughty language before realizing the harmlessness of it all and busting out in laughter. I also had visions of horror movie-style gruesomeness at the hands of the Silent Halloween DeathJester. Made the whole thing…the thousand pounds of candy, the repeated jumping up to answer the door, the dog’s angry barking all night long….worthwhile.
With that vision, I turned to more pressing matters….this year’s viewing of “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown“.