I’m Not Lion

I’ve been mulling over some thoughts in my head these last few days.  I haven’t been sure how to formulate any of them into something sensible.  I wasn’t sure if I would end up putting them down at all; and, if so, where I would end up writing them down.

I have been marveling at the sheer absurdity that we are engrossed with.  The most viewed television shows these days are essentially just the lives of idiots displayed in full HD.

Shows that are supposed reality are not – hullo, Moonshiners and Amish Mafia!  Surely I’m not the only person that instantly wonders how real people can engage in illegal activity on camera and get away with it.  Hint!

The news can’t be trusted.  Almost no news outlet is unbiased, they barely do any research and often just tell you what you already read on various social media outlets…posted by any halfwit with an internet connection.

It’s painful.

I still watch paranormal shows, but I can’t bother to review them anymore.  They are pure entertainment now.  They hardly even pretend they are trying to be objective anymore.

When Zak Bagans and his fellow Ghost Adventures boys talk about “debunking” something, they don’t mean they are proving that something could be other than supernatural.  They mean they are proving it as supernatural.

This is a shift in language that indicates exactly where they stand.  Everything IS supernatural unless proved otherwise.  He is not alone.  Most of the other shows behave similarly.  They start with assuming the unproven as true.  The polar opposite of how an objective observer should approach any investigation.  It can only lead to false positives.

The Finding Bigfoot folks discuss known traits of an unknown animal.  Squatches like raves.  Squatches are immune to pepper spray.  Squatches imitate coyotes.  Air raid sirens will attract Squatches.  The investigating crew will end an investigation with zero evidence and still proclaim that Bigfoot positively exists in an area.  The majority of the Finding Bigfoot show members put down the only person on their show using any rational thought.  Theses “investigators” take almost every eyewitness account at face value.

These people are engaged in entertainment.  I understand that they need ratings.  I also understand how horrifically stupid the general population is.

People don’t see what they think they see.  People don’t know….much of anything.  Worst of all, people don’t know that they don’t know anything.  They can be convinced of anything.

A video on YouTube caries as much weight with most folks as does an announcement from NASA scientists.

These same people who can’t identify US states on a map and who don’t know the Vice President’s name believe they are savvy enough to see where SCIENCE! is making up stuff and that scientific theory is no different from irrational, made up bullshit (hullo, Ancient Aliens!)

People think this dog is a lion:

Charles the dog caused a scare in a Norfolk, Va., neighborhood this week when residents and passers-by mistook him and his curly mane for a lion.

CBS affiliate WTKR-TV reports Charles, a Labrador-poodle mix, was strolling down the street after an appointment at the groomer’s when the 911 calls started coming in.

“I’d like to report a lion sighting,” a caller said.

“Say that again?” the dispatcher responded.

A few minutes later, another call came in: “I just saw an animal that looked like a small lion. Had the mane and everything … I don’t know if it got away from the zoo, or what,” a man said.

Another woman told a 911 dispatcher the “baby lion” is the size of a Labrador retriever, also citing the nearby Virginia Zoo.

The Norfolk Police Department responded by contacting the zoo and assuring all its lions were accounted for. The wild animals were all asleep.

This poodle is not a lion!

This labradoodle is not a lion!

Think about that the next time a bunch of people stumbling around in the dark tell you they know exactly what they saw or that they know exactly what some garbled audio recording is saying.


About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator improbablefrontiers.com
This entry was posted in Crypto, Film, Literature and Entertainment, Universal Absurdity and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I’m Not Lion

  1. I feel your pain. Truly I do.

    I will just leave this here for you.

    TURNING and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.

    Surely some revelation is at hand;
    Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
    The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
    When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
    Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
    A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
    A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
    Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
    Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
    The darkness drops again; but now I know
    That twenty centuries of stony sleep
    Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
    And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
    Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?


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