The Amityville Breakfast Porno of Imposter Nature is Solved!

Netflix is pretty nifty.  I don’t really use it optimally.  Mostly, I put stuff in queue and never watch anything.  Occasionally, I scroll through my queue staring at all the options that I don’t watch.

Netflix recently rejiggered how their system works.  I barely noticed.

I did notice that Netflix had some recommendations for me (By the way, for the love of all things unholy, will nobody ever, ever use the term “recos” in place of “recommendations,” please?  I’m talking to you, Don Cheadle.  Don’t let Xfinity do you like that).

I’m not even going to attempt creating a logic line between My Amityville Horror and some of those.  Sure, The Breakfast Club makes complete sense.  High School…demonic possession and getting kicked out of your house.  That’s nearly the same story.  I guess Harland Williams is frightening.  Zack and Miri Make a Porno?  I got nothin’.

I guess I have to admit to watching My Amityville Horror now.  My best take on it is that I didn’t find it as horrid as it is.  I think the whole spectacle is interesting.  The interviews more or less asked what needed to be asked and they did a reasonable job going over the pertinent facts, most of which horror fans are intimately familiar with.

Per IMDB:

For the first time in 35 years, Daniel Lutz recounts his version of the infamous Amityville haunting that terrified his family in 1975. … This documentary reveals the horror behind growing up as part of a world-famous haunting and while Daniel’s facts may be other’s fiction, the psychological scars he carries are indisputable. Documentary filmmaker, Eric Walter, has combined years of independent research into the Amityville case along with the perspectives of past investigative reporters and eyewitnesses, giving way to the most personal testimony of the subject to date.

There is no fault to be laid at the feet of Walter.  His prep work and filming were solid.  However, as they say, you can’t polish a turd.

The first problem is Daniel Lutz, who adds nothing and feels more like a bad actor than a child misremembering a traumatic time in his life.  Nothing he says can be taken at face value.  Not simply because it is outlandish, but because of his manner and his fake reluctance to tell certain aspects of the story.  He comes off as a person that needs the attention.  A person that was made special because of this story and is working it hard.

The other problem is the appearance of Lorraine Warren.  Or perhaps, it’s not a problem at all.  The Warrens are like a giant stamp of disapproval for me.  As amused as I was by Lorraine and her chicken, she is a reminder of just what a farce the entire Amityville story is.  The reunion of Lorraine and Daniel could have been an amusing lark if seeing Lorraine didn’t always makes me blow a gasket.

Nevertheless, I have always had a fascination with Amityville.  Ever since the house was pointed out to me as a tiny tyke on Long Island.  Given this long-time fascination, it is no surprise that I found the movie interesting.  Perhaps not as interesting to me as the ridiculous Amityville: The Final Testament wherein Ronald Defeo acts the fool.  I’ll get into that mess in another post.

For now, I guess I’ll just watch The Breakfast Club and hope it doesn’t give me nightmares about my days at wrestling practice, detentions and bad cafeteria food.

 

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About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator improbablefrontiers.com
This entry was posted in Film, Literature and Entertainment and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Amityville Breakfast Porno of Imposter Nature is Solved!

  1. I got nothin’ too.

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