Tech Tech Boom, The story of Oblivion

“Tech.  Tech.  Boom.”

That would be the very short, and possibly preferable, version of Oblivion.

Oblivion Target Exclusive

Oblivion Target Exclusive (Photo credit: Droax)

I was blissfully ignorant of Oblivion starring Tom Cruise.  I can only assume that I repressed any memory of its existence as I might any great trauma.

I have issues with Tom Cruise as an actor.  No matter the Hollywood magicks, all I see is Tom Cruise, the real-life douchebag.  There are various reasons for this.  His larger than life douchiness.  His making me doubt the sanity of little Joey Potter.  The fact that he plays the very same personality in the majority of his movies.  This movie was made during Tom’s “Jack” phase.

Cruise jumps on the couch during the taping of...

Cruise jumps on the couch during the taping of an interview on The Oprah Winfrey Show. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

See, what happen’ wuz….DirecTV was playing the first ten minutes or so as a free preview.  I was slow on the uptake and failed to change the channel before I realized I was looking at a Tom Cruise movie.  I got sucked in.  I then watched the whole dang thing.

All in all, it was not awful horrid stanky.  It looked slick and the initial aspects of the story were interesting.  The scenery and the flying machine looked swell.  I have no problem watching Andrea Riseborough and Olga Kurylenko.  The appearance of Morgan Freeman was a boon.

English: Olga Kurylenko during the new Ford Ka...

English: Olga Kurylenko during the new Ford Ka presentation in Paris – cropped version Polski: Olga Kurylenko na prezentacji nowego Forda Ka – wersja wykadrowana Français : Olga Kurylenko pendant la présentation du nouveau modèle Ford à Paris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sadly, it turned out to be a mishmash of old science fiction bits.  Not only that, they were deeply flawed bits.

We were given the alien takeover of Earth for its resources.  The prohibited zone that absolutely nobody ventured into ever ever ever for any reason because they were told not to.  Because nobody ever does what they are told not to do.  Except our hero, because he’s special.  Blah blah blah same same same.  Right up to the ending, which is the newly discovered Trojan Horse Maneuver.  Which involves convincing someone to let the hero slip something into something until it explodes.  Ahem.

While the “twist” is sort of interesting, it is also unfathomably lazy on the part of the universe-consuming super-alien.  Ah, but those unassailable aliens never count on the spirit and depth of our humanity.  Am I right, Admiral Kirk?

Did I miss anything?  I don’t care.  You won’t either.  We will all have forgotten this movie existed by last week.

The film wasn’t a complete waste of time, but it was just another science fiction short story pretending to be a fully realized, rich theatrical experience.

About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator
This entry was posted in Film, Literature and Entertainment and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Tech Tech Boom, The story of Oblivion

  1. You had me at Olga.

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