Amityville: The Awakening? I might just hit snooze

Who am I kidding, I’ll watch this new pile of Amityville crap called Amityville: The Awakening.  It is scheduled for January 2015.  No reason to rush this work of art for an October release.

English: The house from the film The Amityvill...

English: The house from the film The Amityville Horror, built circa 1924, at 112 Ocean Avenue, Amityville, New York, United States. By the time this photo was taken, the address had been changed to discourage curiousity-seekers. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I watched The Amityville Haunting after all.  That was a real piece of work.  By piece of work, I mean the worst of the Amityville and related films.  That is worthy of some kind of prize.  Like a boot to the head.

This new one is based on a real story, of course.  Like Cars is based on a true story about a red car.  I can assure you that a red car was in a race once.  However, this movie is based on the true story of how the owner of the famed house killed his entire family in 1974.  As opposed to what actually happened.  Details.

You have a guy stuck in his bed with a computer communication device, a teenager who didn’t want to move to a new place and a little blond girl with dollies.  Revolutionary stuff.

Paranormal Activity was apparently bludgeoned to death enough, so the producers of that franchise have moved into Amityville!  I’m sure someone out there thinks that’s awesome.  That someone isn’t me.

Red Forman is in it, so that’s a positive.  He’ll give those flies what for, mark my words!

Without further delay, here’s a look at the trailer that came out a few days ago.  It has Spanish language closed captioning for those that are into that sort of stuff.

About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator
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2 Responses to Amityville: The Awakening? I might just hit snooze

  1. Why so glum товарищ? It looks like it has all the goodies and JJL to boot.

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