Happy SuperBloodMoon Apocalypse, people!

Someone will just have to describe it to Russia, since they’ll miss this one.  Otherwise they’ll have to watch a live stream of the big shebang.

That ancient guy Joel didn’t have much to say as far as bible shite goes, but what he did say was all apocalypse all the time.  Y’all know that’s the stuff I like best.

Joel 2:31 [from the King James joint]

The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day of the LORD come.

That’s some heavy action.

I could discuss the great tetrad of lunar eclipses that happened in 1493, which I recall as being vaguely apocalyptic.  Suffice it to say that, while rare, these things happen.

Why are They so stuck on these predictable and understood astrological events? Why not Tuesday?  I will gladly pay you an apocalypse on Tuesday for a super blood moon eclipse today.

I assume they’re busy on Tuesday.  Nobody wants to miss the pilots of Grandfathered and The Grinder.  Not even the Supreme Alien.

I’m pretty sure the Great And Powerful meant it completely literally.  The cause of the moon being covered in blood will, of course, be a vile experiment gone wrong in the Nazi Moon Base.  Those jerks can’t hide that kind of disaster on the dark side forever.

Many Shuvs and Zuuls will know what it is to be roasted in the depths of the Slor on that day, I can tell you!

Why should we trust this Joel guy anyway?  I would just as soon ask Moon Bloodgood when the crap is gonna hit the fan.  She was there when the skies fell, after all.

If the apocalypse doesn’t happen, can I have your left-over moon cakes?

About I.M. Pangs

digital verbal smog creator
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2 Responses to Super-moon-stitionl

  1. No you can’t have my left over moon cakes. There aren’t any. How about I just moon you?

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