How do I know that’s what happened? Because why not. There is no other plausible explanation.
Also, I read this article in The Mirror, “Angler stunned after hooking rare unidentified fish in South China Sea near Malaysia”
An angler has been left stumped after hooking a rare and as yet unidentified fish.
The mystery creature has a large head and is covered with sharp spines on the top and bottom of its body, which gets progressively smaller towards the tail.
The fish measuring over one foot in length also has two tusk-like spikes near its mouth.
The strange catch has left locals baffled as to what it could be.
That’s that. Spread the news.
Unless, of course, you recognize this as an Armored Searobin, in which case this would just be a fish. An identified, if totally badass, alien-looking, fish.
It’s not like anyone has ever, ever, ever seen an Armored Searobin, though. So we’ll never be sure. NEVER.
Let’s not have that get in the way of spreading the insanity. Knowledge isn’t fun. Mystery is fun!
This alien scout entity has come from Zeta Ridiculi to identify the weaknesses in the world’s naval defenses. The family in the article has not been seen or heard from since the interview. However, local authorities discovered a foul odor, seaweed, and a slimy purple ooze throughout the family’s home. Authorities were investigating the family’s absence from the town’s annual Interpretive Break Dance Festival when they found the disturbing evidence in the home. Given this turn of events, we can only assume the rest of the Alien Fish Navy Horde is already upon us.
I may have made that part up. How could anyone know? These are all great unidentifiable mysteries. Don’t let some lazy, good-for-nothing marine biologist try to SCIENCE! you up on this, folks.
Armored Searobin. You can just tell that’s made up!
Am I right!?!?!?!?!
- China’s smog interferes with spying (stuff.co.nz)
- Dozens missing as boats sink in South China Sea typhoon (foxnews.com)
- Code of conduct for South China Sea (japantimes.co.jp)
- Malaysia to construct naval base in disputed South China Sea (wantchinatimes.com)
- Is this the most terrifying sea creature ever caught? Mystery species with fearsome tusk-like spikes and spines along its body is found off Borneo (dailymail.co.uk)